my left me so sudden...
he is my bestfriend when it comes to our familly relationship...
im the ealdest in the family...
now i need to support my siblings, youngest is 8 followed by 13yrs old and theone next to me is 21,
i have no problem with that its just that im not prepared, and this situation is the something that really scared me most when he is still alive.

i miss him every day,
he never fails to help me whenevr im in need...
we never did argue before....
i never really experienced rasing my voice towards him and im proud of that.
cuz even  though im a failure, but never in my life to disrespect him...

we did planned to go on a vacation a month before he died...
and it feels like i missed half of my life because i failed to send just a fue days of my life with the whole family, i missed having a quality time with them even thou it should have been possible if i just did make time.

i have alot of things to say... to him but its useless now that he's gone...